You're way past praying for...

So... I just checked Kerrang.com to see if they had posted something about MCR's 4th album, and they had so I read it and then just thought I'd look at the comments people had left.

First of all, I think read the word "fucktard" about fifty times and I didn't even read half of the comments. I didn't know it was such a mainstream word...

Second, I realized that on every single webpage, that's not a MCR fan based site, the same discussion occur every single time! Some fan (times hundred) writes "ZOMG!! MCR IS SO NOT EMO!!!!!!!" and then a most likely hater writes back "Fuck off, they're emo and deal with it" (that was a very nice version of their replies).

SO WHAT IF MCR IS EMO?! I couldn't care less and thank god I saw this comment on the Kerrang! page saying something like "Who cares if they're emo. As long as you like their music it shouldn't matter what label they have". THANK YOU whoeveryouare!! This MCR-is-so-fucking-emo-no-they're-not discussion is getting old. No wait, it's getting ancient.

If you're a fan of the band and their music (hopefully not just the looks) then you don't care if people label them as emo. Deal with it like a normal person and just shut up.
If you're a hater and only leave ugly comments about how stupid, fucktards MCR fans are just... don't say anything, you only look really... well, stupid.
Then back to the fans: if the haters really can't keep their mouths closed, you don't really have to answer back at them. Just ignore them and they will after a while grow tired and stop leaving these lame comments :]

Got it?
Good.

That's all I had to say.

And if anyone has forgotten or misunderstood me here: I'm a big fan of My Chemical Romance and I can't wait for their new album! :D

1. I just watched Yes Man for the first time because Linda was surprised I hadn't seen it (because clearly everyone had seen it...) and she sorta told me I should watch it. Anywho! I watched it (online sadly because there's no way I'll get it anywhere else at this time of the day) and I loved it!! It was an upliftng experience for me, you might say. I tweeted "It makes me want to say yes to everything, buticanhardlyimaginemedoingitanywaysowhocares." True story.

2. I've been painting my room with mom lately (see picture) and it's finally done! No more painting ceiling white, walls white or orange! Or paining the door white... Mom said I can move in tomorrow and my reaction was pretty much only "Whoo yee... okay then". Why? I don't know, I guess it's the smell of painting that will only give me headaches. But I was just in the bathroom when she told me she had hung up the lift-curtains (or whatever you call them) so I went to take a look and suddenly my mind changed. I changed. I want to move in there tomorrow! So now I hope I will.

3. Just wanted to say good morning/day/night to everyone, depending on where you live! Tonight I will have 2am as a goal - will I fall asleep earlier than 2am? I sure hope so. Last night I got only 5 hours of sleep so I've been grumpy all day - up until I had my daily chat with Estaschia and that totally cheered me up because she's way awesome!

Aaaanyway, good night from me! ;D

(I'm sorta bored, and I just love doing these stuff)

RULES:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds!


IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Sympathy - Billy Talent

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Time After Time (cover) - Quietdrive

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Tie Her Down - Senses Fail

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Homecoming - Hey Monday

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Over My Head (Cable Car) (cover) - A Day To Remember

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
The Show Must Go On - Queen

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Spread Legs Not Lies - The Blackout

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Life At Stake - Wetnurse

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Off The Heezay - Bring Me The Horizon

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BFF?
Waste Land (Live Acoustic) - 10 Years

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Tarantula - Smashing Pumpkins

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Sugar We're Going Down - Fall Out Boy

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Shadows - 12 Stones

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
The Emptiness - Silver

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Pretty Handsome Awkward - The Used

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Halo - Beyonce

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
So Much Of Not Enough - Neverstore

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Save You - Simple Plan

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Hope In Devotion - Before Their Eyes

WHAT SONG WILL BE THE SUBJECT WHEN YOU REPOST?
The Way We Are - Cinema Bizarre

I've been gone, away from computers and (almost gone from) phones, for 5 days - been visiting some relatives in Bergen.

When I was gone for Spain I was away for 14 days, but yet I feel like I've missed so much more this time. I see the notes I've received and they make no sense and the comments also don't make any sense. My friends updates... you guessed it, don't make sense.

So strange! But it might be because I now have a headache, I think I'm hungry, I know I'm thirsty and I lack jsut about 12 hours of sleep from all the days I've been gone (hooray to waking up at 9 or 10 everyday when I usually sleep till 1pm!)

So if anyone feel like feeding me with updates from the previous 5 days - be my guest!

Have to go unload my bag now so mom can do laundry :p

First of all: DON'T EVER PAINT YOUR BEDROOM CEILING!

Secondly: I just dyed my hair red again :D Yay

But then over to the real topic of this journal. Last week (don't remember what day) this guy called me because he'd been tipped about me, and he asked if I wanted to take pictures of band/crowd at Malakoff Rockfestival!

Quick about Malakoff: Norwegian, slightly small 2-day festival, only 30 minutes away with car from where I live. Good Norwegian bands playing!

Anyway, he asked and I said yes. Of course I said yes. I was actually going to volunteer at the festival to sell merch and such, but now I'll take pictures with Linda :D I feel like I've been upgraded or something...

And it's Friday and Saturday. So I won't be here this weekend until Sunday... I just hope I won't take only crap pictures xD That will be embarrassing... But I'll try my best! And as much as I know now, I can use the photos I take so maybe I will post some (if I'm happy with them, ofc).

Today I've been slowly going through my stuff in my room and filling up two plastic bags with crap and taking out two big loads of old magazines to throw away. I'm cleaning my room in other words, and I'm cleaning it good.

You see, my mom have decided to paint my room - with my help of course - and it's to my great pleasure! I'm tired of the turquoise walls and pink curtains with kissy-lips on. Let's face it now while we're still young - I'm not a teenie anymore. I hate it, just as much as I hate ABBA.

Anyway, I was cleaning and I really suck at cleaning away things. My great best friend, Estaschia, have been informed about this quite a "few" times these last days. I can't throw away much without thinking "Hmm... what if I will need this in a couple years? I'll just keep it, you never know". And you know what? I don't think it's healthy to think like that. So my cleaning started with that, but ended with just throwing out most things I found lying around.

I came across a couple "funny" things and very many "creepy wtf-are-those-doing-here!" things. My school diary from 06/07 was a funny thing.  I made my own cover that year and, with my big obsession of MCR, Mr. Way was on the cover! Along with some stickers that I'm now slightly embarrassed about. That year I wrote every single day. I realized that I didn't do much, but my life has changed a lot since that time.
Two big (musical) happenings in 2007: first and second MCR concert. First festival trip.

And now my room is more of a mess than it was before I started cleaning! Seriously, how is that possible? There are just so many things to sort - what to keep, what to throw out. That raging darned thought that makes me want to keep something never goes away either. Anyway, I moved into my old room for now. It's pink and purple ... and I feel really bad for all those people who have been sleeping here the last years! These walls are ... ugh!

Oh! While my mom was getting the "new" bed ready for me I was walking around wiping away some dust and was remembered why I don't like to clean. It's so dusty! Ew. And yes, I sound stuck up and all that, but seriously. Dust is gross and spiders are even worse.

But I will give you some advice:
Don't ever let it be more than two weeks between every cleaning session!
When my room is ready again I will try my best to clean more often. Hopefully I will have it my way and barely stuff in any things. It will make it much easier to clean.

While I'm at it - here's my ideas for my room! And these aren't any of my mom's ideas.
- The walls will be painted white - or well, with the color named "chi". It's grayish white, apparently. But one wall - the one with the window - will be orange! BAM!
- My bed will be placed in the middle of the room. Not against a wall or anything. I have to try out something new. I'm just a little afraid I will fall out of the bed all the time. Then I would have to shove it against a wall...
- Below the window there will be some sort of shelves or a drawer or something, in black. That's where I'll keep my school books, my Twilight-saga and the good CD's.
- I want to paint my roof black - but my mom won't let me -_______- she won't even paint the floor black. What a buzzkill.
- There won't be any kind of decoration. The only decoration I will allow is posters!!!!

I think that was all...

Finally back in Norway, but stuck in Oslo; Gardermoen Airport for another 2 / 3 hours -.-' Thank God for Wi-fi!

Tomorrow I will post lots of pictures and reply to all your notes ^-^

xoxo

In nine hours I'll be on the plane on my way to Málaga, Spain!

See you in 13 days, unless our condo has wireless internet :D

Hope you all have a lovely summer so far

xoxo Kristine

Today I went to school and met with six other from my class and we finally got to know our subject for our exam.

I'm not good at explaining, but the system here (about second/twelfth graders like me) works that so we have to have one exam - writing or presentation - but not both. And because I didn't get to write my exam, I had to wait a month to find out what subject I'd get. My greatest wish was to get instrument, but no. Not with my luck. I got music history instead. But that's fine with me.

As I was saying: I went to school at 10am and found out my subject was music history, so I am currently sitting at the kitchen table at home, correcting a presentation about Bach's instrumental music from the 17^th century. That's my main project, but I also have to listen to 15 ancient songs that I picked out a couple months ago and I have to memorize them till Tuesday (for my exam). Songs like "Cannon in D major" by Pachebel, "Overture to The Flying Dutchman" by Wagner, "The Surprise, Symphony No.94: 2.movement" by Mozart. Familiar to some, very unfamiliar to others...  

Memorize as in: remember what song is it by listening to it, remember who composed it, what genre the song is, what era it's from and then I also have to remember some important facts about the era.  I just hope I manage to remember all the facts about everything and manage to separate them from each other because I only get questioned about one song.

Soon is summer and vacation for me as well!!!! :D

I should get back to my work, I have a lot to correct and learn. It's not like I've been paying much attention to my teacher in class, so I have a lot to catch up on when it comes to Gregorian song and other stuff we learned in the fall.

 Concert: My Chemical Romance
             The Hove(d)scene, The Hovefestival, June 30^th 2007
Audience: 12.000

As the very last headliner band to perform at the Hove(d)stage at Hove 2007, is New Jersey band My Chemical Romance. It is the first time they play in Norway during their six years as a band, but has visited Sweden and Denmark before. They are on tour after the latest album The Black Parade was released in October 2006, the largest and most bombastic album that the band has ever released.

The most famous songs, such as I'm Not Okay (I Promise), Helena, Welcome To The Black Parade and Famous Last Words, are some of repertoire during the evening. Not all songs are taken from the latest album; some are from a the CD Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge (2004). But none of the songs from the debut album I Brought You My Bullets You Brought Me Your Love (2002) is played.

First song out is This Is How I Disappear, and it is a good opening song. It gets the fans on the ground to jump high, scream and sing along. With 12,000 in the audience, it's very cramped for space, but everyone gets to jump, and everyone find space to wave their hands high in the air when the lead singer Gerard Way command them. Up on stage, it is much better place and that is Way and Frank Iero (rhythm guitarist) happy about. The guitarist who only measures 1 meter and 50 centimeters (4 feet, 9 inches) up from the ground jump and bounce around on stage as a four who has received too much candy.

Guitarist Ray Toro plays many familiar guitar solos. The first is towards the end of the Dead!. Many of the others is to be heard in the songs I'm Not Okay (I Promise), Welcome to the Black Parade, Teenagers, and You Know What They do to Guys Like Us In Prison. One song after the other dances Toro's fingers up and down the guitar in a quick speed. He has experience with the guitar since he was a teenager and has a reputation saying that he is a musical genius. Iero also has played guitar for many years, and My Chemical Romance is not the first band he is a member of.

My Chemical Romance knows how to give the fans a great stage show. Smoke machines and colorful lights help. Back on the stage is a large cylinder in which drummer Bob Bryar is placed on top, this means that he is easy to spot. And this large platform does not stand still - it spins every time Bryar's changes drum kits, as he alternates on two. And behind the drummer is a huge "back drop" with the band's logo on. Occasionally, in between the songs, Way speaks to the audience and ask questions about how the festival week has been, and of course everyone screams back to indicate that they've had a fantastic week with a lot of good music to listen to. So, if you do not think the music lives up to expectations, it is still much to lay your eyes on. 

The first time My Chemical Romance played in Norway, they were not completed as a band. A little "changes" had been made. Matt Cortez stepped in for bassist Mikey Way - who's the vocalist's little brother. The original bass player took a little break from the tour because he got married earlier this year and would take a break to spend time together with his wife. It is not only Cortez who has stepped in, behind the keyboard, we could see James Dewees from the band Reggie and the Full Effect. He has followed My Chemical Romance for many months to play keyboard for them. On the latest album is the piano and keyboard sound effects used a lot, and it is the first time the band has with a sixth man on tour to get include these sounds.

Although the band is known for their strong texts with rough sounds, My Chemical Romance also has some rock ballads under their sleeves. I Don't Love You, Sleep and Cancer are such songs. Only instrument that is used when Cancer is performed is the piano and reinforces the very atmosphere that is in the song. The song is about "The Patient" (the person that The Black Parade is based on) who has cancer and will die, and the song describe how he handles that. While this song is performed it is only the vocalist and the pianist who's on stage, it is completely dark around Gerard Way and the fans are almost silent. Only by listening to the song you can hear the concert begins to approach the end. The whole band comes out on stage again when the last chord is played and the last note is sung, and they play one of the most famous songs from Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, Helena. Among some of the fans at the front rows tears runs down their cheeks as they sing along. They know that Helena is a tribute song and a song that means a lot to the band. It was written after the grandmother of Gerard and Mikey Way died. She supported the band and gave them, for example, their first tour-bus.

The last statement Way throws out is "Thank you for an amazing first date, Norway", and with that the band walk of the Hove(d)stage. The fans continues to scream and clapp for a long time afterwards, in the hope that they will come out again for an encore. But eventually they realize that the show is over and teenagers stroll slowly but surely away from the scene.

I want to "thank" Google Translate for making the translation way easier for me. It took me five minutes to translate it all xD Also, thank you Linda for having all the songs from the concert posted on her page!

Anyway; I haven't gotten my grade yet, but my teacher told me it would be a 4 or 5 (something like a C or B). I didn't really expect anything better :]

Sorta.

Tomorrow is 17th of May, which you all know. And it's Norway's National Day! That means I'll be getting up "early" to get into my national costume, bunad, and walk in the "parade", then eat lots of ice cream! Nomnom :]

A friend and I are performing... What song we don't know yet. She's coming over now and we'll decide and practice (hopefully). I hate performing >.< But I won't let it distroy my day!!

Have a lovely day/night/weekend :D
xoxo

Maybe not as despressed as disapointed..

Today at 9am we got the message if we're writing our maths/spanish/french/german exam next week. I didn't get either of them. I really wanted to get maths because then I'd just be finished with the exam in 5 days, but now I have to wait a month to know what subject I have to do a presentation about!

Seriously, I can get spanish, history, geography, social studies, maths, instrument, music history... Spanish is the worst (so I guess I will get that one..).

This sucks! I envy those who's writing math or spanish.

And, to add to my misery, I found my heartshaped sunnies broken this morning D:

Right now I'm writing a concert review about MCR's concert in Norway two years ago. It's a school thing due Wednesday and I'm not doing it just "for fun", because it's no fun at all actually.

Anyway; I have sorta noticed that I can't write any descriptions of the band or the fans without getting seriously sarcastic! O.o
Like, for example, I'm describing how Frank is jumping around on the stage and I wrote: The guitarist that only measure one meter and fifty centimeters above the ground hops and jumps around on the stage like a four-year-old that has eaten way too much candy.(or something like that, I'm writing in Norwegian).

The draft I'm writing now is my 3rd, because I think I write ugly about the things. The way I described the fans in the first draft, in the first paragraph, sounded somethins like: When you can hear a horde of screaming girls then you know that today's headliner have taken place on the Hove(d)scene. Approximately half of them look the same - black, messy hair, dressed in black, red or white and heavy painted with eyeliner and mascara. The other half are the ones who have dyed their hair in every other colors than black.
I feel so bad when I write this! It's not like I want it to be mean, but I've just written down what my mind is thinking... I don't want to hand in something that my teacher will find victimizing, because she doesn't know the band, the fans or the music the way I do.

When I first heard that my class were writing a review about a concert or CD I was stoked and knew exactly what I was going to write about at once and got started right away. But when I read through what I'd written down I didn't like it. So now I've actually pulled out the paper with keywords on what to write and how, so maybe I won't write so ugly. Because I want my teacher to know the awesome feeling it was to be there and see them jump around, and what it was to be around the great fans. Because it really was great, there was nothing bad about it (except that they didn't play The Ghost of You).

Just thought I'd share my thoughts, and opinions would be awesome [;)], but now I better get back to my writing. If it's going to be a good outcome, then I better work a lot on it!

Have a lovely weekend!

like April 29th!

1. I cut my hair today! Finally my bangs isn't in my eyes..
2. It was a beautiful day - lots of sun, blue sky, almost no clouds.
3. I bought "Twilight" (the movie) and I'm about to watch it.
4. I went driving with my mom - just for fun, but also experience. I think I might actually want to get my drivers license when I turn 18, it's not so bad :]
5. I found out that I got grade 5/6 (B/A) on my song midterm! I'm shocked and stoked, because it mostly went straight to hell with my singing :D

I'm out of reasons...
But now I'm out!

Have a lovely day! :D

Some background info first!

As an almost new member at Mibba I decided to be a part of a writing challenge. I saw many links to these challenges and wondered where the fuck they were! Finally I found them (thanks to a link). After searching through some and thinking "omgz" I found and thought "hey, why not?!"
The challenge is called I Really Love Photobucket and everyone that enters picks a number and gets a picture to write a story about/around. I got this picture:

Then I thought "Damn, I suck at picking numbers", but sat down and wrote something before I asked my faithful friend, Estaschia, for a little idea-help.

Thank you hun for the idea and then for correcting it! (Y) You're an angel ;D

Here's the story:

I couldn't believe it. I hoped I was dreaming that it was all just a really bad dream. He couldn't ... he couldn't just leave me here, alone, with the nutty village people! He wouldn't dare...

The motor of a car roared into action, soon it would be driving away. Far, far away from Waldron and even further away from Danville Road where I was still stuck with even more feelings than I would have had, if it wasn't for the goodbye-session last night...

*Flashback*

"No!" I shouted at him and was about to open the door to leave. But he firmly and gently wrapped his fingers around my wrist and held me back so I wouldn't be able to. I turned my head around and looked into his clear blue eyes. They screamed "pleading"; he didn't want me to leave. But I didn't want him to leave either! "Please, Josh. Please just tell me it's all a joke. I swear I won't get mad."

He didn't let me go; my wrist was still neatly wrapped inside his palm. His eyes were still sad-looking. "That's what I want to tell you, but you know I suck at lying to you." Slowly he loosened his grip and my hand fell into my lap. I writhed in the seat and turned my head around so he wouldn't see the tears forming in the corner of my eyes.

"You can't leave me here alone!" I stuttered. My voice was only seconds away from cracking up. There was a large lump in my throat so it was hard to breathe and swallow. "You have to take me with you, because I can't be here without you. You're my best...my only friend."

"Angel, please don't cry," Josh pleaded with a broken voice. His hand touched my face tranquilly, turning my face to his...

Angel is what Josh likes to call me, but it's not so different from my full name - Angela.  He's the only one calling me Angel. He'd just always liked Angel more. "It suits you better," he always says. My hair is light blonde, almost platinum. Nearly always sun bleached. It's a contrast to his coal black, wavy but not curly and soft hair. My hair tends to end up like a squiggle after a day. Conditioner is my favorite hair product, but I wish it wasn't...

I have a tanned complexion, not because of tanning, but rather from spending so much time outdoors, when Josh would come and haul me out of the house to go for a trip to the lake. It's all an excuse so he could drive his car. It's old and almost rusted, but he loves it to death. Someday he'll fix it and make it really cool.

"There's only one year left of high school."

"So you should stay here!" I hurried to say. "Your parents won't mind, I'm sure. You can fly to Columbus then!"

"Hey, I don't want to leave either. I actually love this fucked up place-" Josh stated with a chuckle before I cut him off.

"Then stay! Please, for God's sake I'm begging you! If there was room enough in your car I'd be down on my knees right now."

Josh gave a soft grin, but he still had that sad, haunted look upon his face. Suddenly he pulled me into a hug. I love his hugs. They're always so comfy and de-stressing.

"When are you leaving?" I asked while we were still hugging. Maybe if I never let go of him that he would stay, or that he could take me with his family.

I could feel and hear him swallow hard - that could not be a sign for good news. "Before noon tomorrow." He whispered with a defeated sound.

I shoved myself away from his grip and looked at him in shock and pain. The worst I'd expected was a week. But a day?! "What? You're leaving tomorrow already? Weren't you going to tell me?"

"Of course I was! Angel, you know I'd never leave without saying goodbye to you; it's just a lot harder than I thought it would be, so I've been postponing it for a couple of months."

Again I turned around and reached for the door. I really wasn't trying to run off, mostly because I had no idea where we were at the moment, but I needed some fresh air. Josh let me go this time but jumped out as well. I'd gone around the car, to the back to sit on top of the trunk. I closed my eyes and inhaled the fresh air in the silent area. We were parked beside the road, but these roads are mostly deserted. 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier." Josh's velvet voice was only a few inches away. "I chickened out, several times. And that's pretty amazing, coming from me."

"Psh," I puffed and lightly punched him on the arm.

"Good to see I can still make you smile even though I'm being so cruel to you right now."

I smiled once more and made a sign for him to sit down beside me. Actually, I was afraid the lid of the trunk wouldn't hold us both up... He stepped on the bumper and tossed himself up beside me. Then we lay down, leaning back on the small, rounded window.

"It's going to get so weird, not having you beside me at all times. I hope nobody moves into your house - there's only one neighbor kid I like," I told him as I rested my head on his muscular arm.

A sudden chilly wind seemed to appear out of nowhere. The day had been warm and there hadn't been much need for heavy clothing, so I was only wearing denim shorts and a fitting t-shirt. But now it was sort of cold. Without a warning, Josh made me sit up so he could give me his hoodie. Maybe I had shivered so he noticed...

The wind wouldn't stop and was still going strong after five minutes. Five minutes I'd been getting colder and colder. I asked if we could go back home and I slid of the trunk.

"Sure, but there's one more thing I want to tell you." Josh slid off as well and placed himself right in front of me. "Okay, that was step one, now I have to follow it through..." I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or himself. His eyes were on me, but the words didn't make much sense. "I have to tell you now, or I'll never say it and I'll probably regret it every day from now on."

I gave him a worried frown. "Tell me what?"

"I have to tell you that I... that I..." He didn't get past the I-word without muting. I was still waiting patiently when he all of a sudden placed his hand lightly beneath my jaw lifting my face to him for a kiss. Not just any kiss...it was not only the best kiss, but my first real kiss...

That's kind of tragic, isn't it? Being seventeen and never been kissed. Depressing..... But when you live in a small town where everyone knows each other by both first and last name -even middle name - where you're known to be a social outcast and not very attractive among the boys, and when the boys are known to be either real hillbillies or real dicks, you don't have many options other than staying unkissed. The only person I found attractive amidst this small flock of boys was my best friend, but I'd never dare to risk anything just to get a kiss. But back to what was happening between my face and Josh's.

His lips were so soft. Much softer than I'd thought they were. It reminded me of silk, in a way. The lips I'd dreamt of having on mine for God knows how long were now actually on my lips - and I really wasn't dreaming it. Not this time.

I'd never been kissed before so I had no idea what to do, but at least I closed my eyes. It would've been creepy if I kept them open and stared at him... really creepy. I could feel my hand moving up to rest on his arm, and it happened without me controlling anything other than keeping my heartbeat steady.

A long moment later, but only a seconds after reaching for my lips, and too soon Josh withdrew. My reaction: jump on him for a hug with my arms tightly wrapped around his neck.

"I love you, Angel." Josh spoke softly into my ear before turning his head as far he could and kissed me on my cheek. "I have all along."

Tears were rolling down my cheeks, it was like a faucet was opened and I could not stop. For the longest time we only stood there with our arms around each other, keeping each other warm with our embrace. When the tears started to recede, I slowly let go and sat down in the passenger seat in his car without saying anything, but Josh understood I wanted to go home.

*End of flashback*

The car outside was still rumbling. I wasn't planning on going out to say goodbye. Not one more time. Once was more than enough. It was one time too much.

I still couldn't believe Josh kissed me last night. It doesn't feel like reality at all. And even less realistic is the memory of him telling me he loves me. We've told each other before, but then it was the friendly love. Even though I've had a little crush on Josh for a long time I knew his words had a deeper meaning than usual. Something about his words and the way he said it, was a revelation and, proof enough that my imagination was not running away with me.

I was in two minds about everything...I wish he kept it all to himself. He made it so much harder for me to deal with him leaving.  I also now knew I made a huge mistake by never grabbing the chance when I had it. I should've told him years ago that I'm head over heels in love with him...

All I'll have left is the memories we have together from our seventeen year old friendship, remorse so big it might break me. And off course there was his hoodie... I was still wearing it from last night. When I came home last night I ran upstairs to my bedroom and fell down on my bed and cried myself to sleep.   I woke up, still wearing yesterday's clothes. It felt so good - almost too good -wearing his jacket.... Comfortable, warm,  secure and smelling like Josh.

I heard people talking outside, some were laughing. I looked out of my bedroom window. Josh was walking out the front door of their house. He looked sad, nothing like the Josh I know. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe my behavior last night was all wrong. Maybe I should've told him I love him too.  Maybe I should before it's too late and he leaves. Maybe that wouldn't make him leave this town with such a sad face.

I knew I didn't have much time left so I ran out my door and down the stairs - two steps at the time. There was no one blocking my way to the door and when I opened the door to get outside I shouted his name while running as fast as I can across the lawn and jumping over the short hedge that divided the two properties.

But Josh was already in the car with the door shut and the car was already into gear. I'd just landed on their side of the hedge when they drove away. The sight of Josh leaving knocked the breath out of me and I fell to the ground, scratching my knees and leaving grass stains in my palms, on the elbows and my legs.

He was gone and I'd been too late. Now he was really gone and wasn't coming back for a long time, or maybe he wasn't coming back at all. We might lose all contact and I'd never get to tell him that I love him. All the worst thoughts ran through my head quickly as I was lying on the grass, sobbing loudly with big drops of tears running down my cheek. He would forget all about me when he enrolls the school in Columbus and gets a bunch of new friends and most likely a gorgeous girlfriend. Why would he sacrifice any thoughts about me?

I turned around and saw Josh's almost wrecked car standing beside the house. He'd left it behind. The old little rusted vehicle where he told me he loved me. I gave a sigh. I stood beside the car reminiscing for a while before I slowly dragged my body back to my bedroom to stare straight up to my ceiling through the shallow salty substance in my eyes.

iska tagged me this time.

1. I'd love to be a singersongwriter, but I'd get tired of hearing and singing my own songs.

2. I'm zapping through all 4 MTv channels (Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Finland) in the morning before school, that's why

3. I'm easily addicted to pop-music, but

4. I love rock! And some of the newer classic music (newer=1800-1900) That's not a joke.

5. Can never say what my favorite movie is because I always find flaws about the movies I watch.

6. Want to be a good writer

7. I will travel around in the world! America, Asia, Australia, Afrika ... Europe isn't that important to me.

8. If I were on a ship that started sinking I wouldn't bothered trying to escape it because, face it, life isn't worth going through so much trouble (source of thinking; friends + "Poseidon" + camping trip)

9. I'm the town's little freak when it comes to style. Red hair + red heart-shapes sunnies + colorful clothes. It's a small town, sadly.

10. I'm thinking of trying to actually learn how to play guitar, even tho it's something I don't want to learn - I only wanna know how to play it and do it perfect.

I don't like tagging people ... so I'm not tagging anyone.
:]

If no one read this, then I don’t care because I’m only doing this to write something else other than a factual prose!

Maybe you’ve heard about Henrik Ibsen, maybe you haven’t. Norwegian writer from the 1800-and­-something. He wrote a dramatic poem (that’s what my Norwegian text book said) called “Peer Gynt”. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re thinking “What the heck is she talking about now?”, but there’s a connection.  I’m writing a factual prose, an essay, about “finding yourself” and “being yourself” and I had to take Peer Gynt as my starting point and write around one of the scenes from the dramatic poem (-.-‘). I started two days ago and finished it now and I have 5 more hours before I have to send it to my teacher. NON-OBJECTIVE!

I got a 6 (best grade) on my previous math test! :D (I figured that since I was being non-objective I might as well go all the way…)

But enough about school… Lately – as in the last two months or so – I’ve been addicted to the show “How I Met Your Mother”. I love it! I think it’s hilarious and it has even made me cry once. But I don’t think any of my friends (“real-life” or web-pals) watches it. Bummer, for me. But I recommend it, if you haven’t watched it.

Another thing I’ve gotten addicted to, is playing Bubble Spinner online. Google it.

I know I said I wouldn’t talk about school more, but I have to… While writing my essay and doing lots of other school work I’ve been listening to piano music, such as “Bella’s Lullaby” by Carter Burwell and 4 songs by Yiruma – “River Flows In You”, “Love Hurts”, “Kiss The Rain” and “Time Forgets”. Never in my life have I been working so well with my homework. My usual music (with vocals) don’t do it anymore, I only start singing and lose all concentration.

But speaking of music; I’ve been discovering new bands lately. New bands for me, they’re not necessary newly founded. Hey Monday, A Day to Remember and Danger Radio are the ones I’ve been listening to the most lately – when I haven’t been doing homework. I also came across a ton of Paramore demos, old ones I guess. I was surprised and now I love YouTube even more!

Today’s best buy… Month’s best buy: RED HEART-SHAPED SUNGLASSES! Bought them today. I’ve been looking for shades like that since last summer, or maybe even before that. Today me and two friends went to Cubus (a clothes store) and there they were! In red, black and white, but ofc the red looks best. Yes, pictures will be posted whenever I’m not too lazy to transfer photos from camera to laptop.

One last thing: I love Frerard fanfics! :D I recent found two on Mibba.com that I’m following.  And it felt great to read again. The last thing I read was Twilight, for the 3^rd time, and reading stories are so much fun. Too bad I’m picky and easily stop reading if I find it boring…

This journal turned out to be way longer than I pictured it. But now I have to go study for a ergonomics and movement test I have tomorrow… E&M is PE (and also very straight translated from Norwegian), it's just that we music-students need another name for the class. lameass. 

PEACE OUT! lol

The most fun vday I've experienced through all my life. Also the most exhausting.

I showed up at school at 3pm and rehearsed choir songs for the musical 'til (almost) 9pm. Then a bunch of girls and Marius from my class (plus a guy from the grade below us) went over to a friend's house and ate tacos and watched last years musical on DVD. All of us were so past being tired that we laughed all through the meal which lasted for at least one hour, maybe more.

Good night :]

Check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twVrKcE9CKs
Fits well with the day xD (ps: the guy in the pink shirt is in my class. He's really cool, don't judge by the video :p)

We all know about this infamous date and day. Very known for accidents and bad luck. I’ve never been bothered with it earlier but this year I had some bad luck.

First, when I and my friends were walking to school. To get to school we have to take a ferry ride. While walking on deck, to get inside, I slipped and fell. The snow has really made it slick. So, yeah, it was really slippery and I fell straight to my butt. I must say, it all happened very fast. My pants were wet for hours and I can still feel some slight aching at the area around my tail bone. Especially when I sit down and get up again.
To top that; when we were getting off the ferry I almost fell again! But thanks to my friends – one on each side – I didn’t. Thank goodness :]

The other thing was caused last Friday when we had a Spanish test, but we got the test back today graded. I swear to God I’ve never gotten that bad grade on a Spanish test before! I haven’t seen that grade since last year in science

I did have some good things going on too, though;
1. Math class was sort of fun today – believe it or not. I think I actually understood what my teacher was talking about. Exponential regression or something like that.
2. Because of project-week next week the teachers were planning and stuff, and I didn’t have my piano lesson today. Which I’m happy about because I haven’t really learned the song yet…

So, to just divert, it’s project-week/musical-week in a few days. 5 long days. 8-11 hours of rehearsing and performing every day. I know it’s going to be harder than last year, and last year I was exhausted. Last year it was “The Wiz”, this year it’s “Queen” or “Killer Queen” as we’ve named it. I have no idea what it’s about, but I know that it involves Freddie, some 50’s clothes and I do know that I’m dancing as a man with attitude… yeah.

Anyway; I hope you all had a great day and avoided accidents.

I just scored 121 on an IQ test.. I have no idea if that's good or bad, but I'd like to point out that it's almost 2 in the morning so to me it's a good score :]

It told me my score was better than 91% of all the people in Norway.

... so bored! Going to bed.

goodnight.